


Déjà Vu

by nathyfaith



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humanity, being a vampire sucks, eternal, fuck the oracles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1385134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathyfaith/pseuds/nathyfaith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As if living after all those years was interesting!<br/>The death and the remembrance of them ravaging me...<br/>But not all is lost, Oracles loves to play with our destiny, though who cares about mine?</p>
<p>I've lost all the ones I loved and now I had to go back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eternal / Fuck the Oracles

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction using characters from Joss Whedon universe Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel. We do not own nor are we affiliated with the show, the actors, or other affiliates there of. No profit is being made from this.  
> I do not own any of the other works (such as poem or music) shown in this work. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the ride!

_**ETERNAL LOVE**  (Tracy Renee Shierling)_

_I wonder if I dreamed of you_

_if you would appear?_

_To make my nights full of love,_

_and always hold me near._

_I wonder if I thought of you_

_if you would feel it in your soul?_

_Like two spirits in the universe,_

_who always seem to know._

_Even if the stars went black_

_and the sun were to shine no more._

_They could find their way to each other,_

_no matter how far the shore._

_Safely in each other's arms,_

_to bid the rest of time._

_Finding Eternal Love_

_so many seek to find._

_Caring for each other_

_through the worst of storms._

_Leaning on the arms of love_

_and never need anymore._

_This is how I feel for you,_

_I've known it all along._

_You are my one true love_

_My world.. My heart.. My soul!_

 

* * *

**_New Los Angeles_ **

Well, it's fair enough to say that… I am literally dying here.

Or…? Maybe not … after all I'm the only one to blame, technically speaking, the blame is entirely mine. If I wasn't such an idiot, who let's face it, I am; I wouldn't have ever left her to begin with, but no… I had to be the mature self and decide to leave her behind so she could have her so called "normal life." For God's sake she's the slayer, she would never have a normal live, and if she did, it would always be at risk. But now, I finally realize my incredible mistake.

Yet, she did what I asked her in the end. As if saying those words to her hadn't eaten me up inside, her eyes so expressive were speaking volumes to me, in a way, she was pleading to me, not to voice out my thoughts, but I had to, so with all the strength I could muster… I told her the last time I saw her that I was never getting old, that unfortunately I was still the same. Still the same thing; a vampire I despise.

I could never give her a normal life like so many ordinary humans had. I couldn't bring her to the sun; give her children or happiness in life when I was still full of darkness.

Spike got the girl. Actually one of the Summer's girls, he married Dawnie or the way we both caringly used to refer to her as Nibblet or Squirt. He got his humanity after our battle in LA or like Connor, my beloved son used to say Hell LA. I actually received an email inviting me to their wedding  _(an email can you believe it? Well, just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I can't use a computer; okay so Cordy kinda of made me learn it)_ , he was certainly a Summer's now.

_But you must be asking yourself, but what about you Angel?_

_Well… you can just imagine what the Oracles told me…_

_TIC TOC... TIC TOC... Nothing? Seriously? Okay, I'll tell you…_

_I'm surprised at the lack of imagination of people today... centuries ago it would have been… but... what was I saying again? Oh yeah, those rascals had the audacity to say:_

_It's not your time yet, Warrior, soon it will come. Follow your heart, trust us you'll find your way._

_SURE! I had to laugh at it._

Back to the story, the love of my life – slash – existence, married a watcher, a decent guy that apparently made her happy; I can still remember what he told me on their wedding day:

_I know that you and my sugar bear (honestly I always thought it was a ridiculous love name for her… but?) are very close, and I would appreciate it if you didn't disappear out of her life._

I also remember the way she looked at me when I entered the small room before the ceremony. She was standing still right in front of the mirror; of course she hadn't seen me, but then said my name in a quiet and almost too low to hear a voice.

_Angel, is that you?_

I walked closer to her… God she looked amazing in this fancy white dress falling around her body, her hair was curly and tied up with flowers in a short veil, her make-up was clean and minimal, yet made her stunning, simply beautiful, just like she had always looked to me.

She told me with her beautiful smile and tearful eyes, that it was hard for her to be marrying and loving him, when she never forgot what we had. I held her tight, close to my body trying to capture in my mind her smell, the way she looked, her breath, and the beating of her heart. She was about to come to tears; so I whispered kind words for her saying that no matter what, I would always love her. God knows that after hundred years that hadn't changed yet.

So she took my heart with her and never gave it back. I was there when her first daughter was born, as well as the kids of ours friends, but after a while, it hurt so bloody much that I started to back away.

Dawn called me one night, I was miles away, to tell me she was in the hospital and that her husband Luke was dead, he had been 40 at the time. The kids whom I love as mine were at home with their aunt and uncle.

Without a second thought, I jumped in my car and went to find her; she was standing in the hall way and she seemed so tired and hopeless. Like usual I stayed for some time, but knowing that the more time I spent with them, the more attached I'd become, I once again left the only woman I've ever loved.

The last call was last night; it was from Emily. She's the youngest, and with Mathew by her side, she spoke with what I thought was a "careful tone." She should be about 35 now with kids of her own and so did Mathew the oldest. Emily, my "adoptive" daughter, was breathing heavily as she said  _"Angy…"_ she stopped for a breath again and continued speaking in an almost too soft voice... _"Mommy is really sick, we think we're going to lose her"_ Suddenly I heard the phone was being passed to the person on her side and heard Matthew's voice:

_"Dad_ _?"_  Matthew started to call me that when he was just little boy and I never suppress him for that, honestly I like it, it made me feel like part of the family.

After Luke's death, Emy started to call me that as well, but mostly was Angy, go figure.

Luke had always known, yet never scolded his son. I certainly do not need to mention how happy Buffy was to have such an understanding person. He really loved her unconditionally.

" _She asked for you to come."_ His voice barely a whisper.

_"I'll be there son."_   I answered.

Well, when I got there she was definitely sick, having to see her like that was devastating, but yet, she still looked as beautiful as always.

I sat there on the couch of the hospital and watched her sleep not for long before she woke up and looked up at me with those big hazel green eyes of hers. Though tired, I could still see the happiness brighten her face, she was glad I was here…

All I could think of though, was how my heart was breaking in a thousand pieces and no one was going to help me build that up again.

At least not the one I wanted.

Not my beautiful and beloved Buffy.

This time I was going to be alone. Which made me remember a song I had heard a while ago whilst driving, it could describe better my feelings for my tiny and stubborn loving slayer.

_"Did I disappoint you or let you down?_   
_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_   
_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_   
_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._   
_So I took what's mine by eternal right._   
_Took your soul out into the night._   
_and may be over but it won't stop there,_   
_I am here for you if you'd only care._   
_touched my heart you touched my soul._   
_you changed my life and all my goals._   
_And love is blind and that I knew when,_   
_My heart was blinded by you._   
_I've kissed your lips and held your head._   
_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._   
_I know you well, I know your smell._   
_I've been addicted to you._

_Goodbye my lover._   
_Goodbye my friend._   
_You have been the one._   
_You have been the one for me." **\- James Blunt**_


	2. Remember me?

'Goodbye my love.' I thought to myself. I kept my eyes closed in a semblance of denial, until I heard her voice, low but still sweet.

I raised my eyes to meet hers; Buffy looked up at me again giving me a small smirk and slowly started speaking.

" _Angel, you came…_ " she paused, " _Good 'cause I need to tell you something s before I die_." Her eyes were sad and almost cold, I could see the spark of life leaving her and all I wanted was to hold her in my arms and save her. But I couldn't, my love was almost 80 years old and I still loved her as much as when she was 15 while she'd been crying her heart out inside her room once upon a time in LA.

_"Of course, you asked beloved. How could I not come?"_

_"I need you to know that I still love you. I always did. Spike was right when he said that we could never be friends, love would eat us up inside, it did_."

 _"Buffy, I know…_ " I said holding her small hands in mine. It didn't matter anymore, if she asked, I would die with her. But she didn't, she looked me in the eye and reassured me with a simple phrase she had said to me a long time ago. We were still together then; it was when I could still breathe her scent and pass my fingers through her hair.

_"We will find each other again I promise."_

_"I know love, I know…"_

She was gone after two hours, we'd talked and I held her closed to me for the very last time… and then I kissed her lips. She seemed asleep but she was already gone. I knew better 'cause the smell of dead reeked in the hospital room. I've never came back to California since then.

That was a hundred years ago.

Now I'm doing what I always did, oh sorry, I didn't tell you about my work before, did I?

I left LA the same year, of course, and decided to lose contact with all the friends I had left and their sons and daughters. It was just too much for me. I moved back to Ireland and since then, I've worked as a watcher for the Council.

There's also another thing you must know, all the changes the Scooby Gang and the AI team went through. There was this kind of PEACE now between humans, vampires, demons, and well magic creatures. Believe me; I always thought that was bullshit… but you know – humans, so naïve.

So there I was training girls to be slayers and also boys. That was just so damn close to home! But…Man was I wrong. I got this call from my superiors 'cause they were sending me to New LA to work with about twenty or thirty people. _That was it, I was going back home; home sweet home._


	3. Dead or Alive

I got up the morning after the call, arranged my luggage, bought tickets and waited for the plane. It was almost noon when I finally heard the flight attendant advising the passengers:

_"Flight Number 1245 from Ireland to New Los Angeles leaves in 5 minutes, passengers please go to the embarkations door 5, the Forever's Company desires you a great trip."_

Knowing vampires have advantages above humans; for example we don't get butterflies in our stomachs ever time we catch a plane. Although I, right now, did have a huge headache; it definitely must be, without a doubt the déjà vú I was starting to experience.

So I didn't count the hours, I just couldn't or wanted to. I arrived and it was still night, maybe about an hour before sunrise. I always knew this because I could feel it.

And suddenly, I got an epiphany, literally… I was tired of being something I hated, even if everyone accepted me now, because it was the law... Everyone living in some sort of HARMONY… Oh bugger this was just ridiculous, even for me.

So I was walking on the streets of my old city; I was seeing and reliving everything… the images passed flowing through my mind, until I reached a certain moment. I found myself in the same spot where I found my beautiful and sweet Buffy the day she never had the chance to remember. Sometimes I think it was what kept me alive this long. Remembering her touch, her scent, the taste of her lips and body, the soft way she kept repeating my name over and over again, almost like she knew she would lose that day as well.

I stopped in front of the pier of the beach, took an unnecessary breath at that moment so I could smell the breeze of the cold air of the town. I smelled the ocean water, could feel the sand, I listened to the noise of a distant car, a dog barking… but it didn't matter, because in those milliseconds I was thinking about her, I was finally going to find her, love her, be with her... or maybe for my misfortune I wasn't.

So I was sensing my last moments on earth, I closed my eyes expecting the worst, after all I was going to be in flames in any moment. I took another unnecessary breath, looked around my surroundings, one last mental picture of her face crossed my eyes.

_Silence._

_Light._

_Darkness._

_HEARTBEAT?_

_What the fuck just happened? Where was I?_

I could feel someone touching my neck looking for a pulse, then a minute later, the shaking of my arm and asking of questions while also she... wait it was a she? I finally opened my eyes to see the strange that look was extremely worried about me, swearing something practically inaudible while taking everything out of her purse. I could finally understand when I heard:

_"Hi, yes it's a guy maybe 25 years old, he looks like... um... like he's unconscious or whatever man! (her voice rising) No I do not know the guy!"_

The other person on the line said: " _Could you please look for a wallet…?"_

With that she lost her temper.

_"Fucking, bugging, stupid, idiot machines! Sure the guy is almost dead and they are fucking wanting you to find a blooding wallet! Where is a person, put someone on the line!"_

_"Please wait a minute miss…"_

_"I'm not going to! Argh! Hello? Hello?"_

_"Man… sometimes I just hate NLA!"_

So okay... that voice reminds me of someone.

My eyes finally flew open so I could see my rescuer. Not tall, long dark brown hair, interesting taste in clothes, though I couldn't see her face because she had her back tome. I sat felling my head spin around like a freaking teetotum.

_"Wow! You fine big boy? 'Cause you know, no one these days helps out another... you got lucky."_

OH MY GOD! Was that FAITH? No… of course not, she's beyond dead... Wait, is it her, but not really her…? Oh wow, Jesus I'm babbling with my own mind. God… it has to be this girl's influence, I know it ... I got so used to people babbling that... Ahh! Was she waiting for me to say something? Of course your stupid poof she is waiting for a reply of her last question.

_"Yes, I guess I am."_

She helps me up, looking intensely at me; maybe she was looking for some kind of wound. Then Faith or maybe someone who looked like her, talked, walked, dressed and even swear-ed like her, was giving me a smirk, but I could see a difference in this new Faith, she had some sparkle in her eyes, a caring look, where I could see who she really was, something that my Faith had struggled years to get, something this "future Faith" already had. I returned the smile and finally started to speak.

_"Where are my manners? Hi and thank you so much for the help, by the way. I'm Liam…"_ (I just thought that using my human name again was the best idea, for now I would have to look for a mini Willow to provide me a new ID).

_"Well… Hello there cutie, I'm Faith I live nearby, got lucky I was doing my morning run, see I almost thought you were attacked by one of these lovely creatures we have around!_ " She said it in a very sarcastic way that reminds me so much of my old Faith, she continued:

_"My pleasure, so where you going sexy?"_ She said smiling; my God is she flirting with me? Yep, Angel, she is actually doing it! I should really follow the advice of my former seer and Buffy and buy a mirror. Trying to sound casual, I said:

_"Actually I need a place to crash, maybe a Hotel, do you know a good one?"_

_"Sure._ " She eyed him like eye candy.

We started walking side by side as if we knew each other for years, well at least I knew her... Oh… it was getting to be quite confusing you know? I left my mind and tried to get my attention back on her again, as she was saying:

_"Yeah, so I have lived here since always, you know, we have a gang and lots of friends which are more like a family than friends to me, I think we all kinda think that."_

_"I remember having that too."_  I say in a very quiet voice only slayers would be able to hear and she did.

_"Sorry, I know it's hard._ " And she gave me a sympathetic look and a bright smile while pointing me to the Hotel.

_"See you around big boy!_ " She approached me and kissed me on my lips as in a goodbye kiss of formal couples.

_"Okay!_ " I responded extremely surprised.

If that wasn't a new version of Faith, I would say it was really her with better taste and more open with people, like Buffy when I first met her in all her glowing and happy self.

My cell phone rings again for the first time since a got to NLA, I look to the screen to see who could be possibly calling. My superiors or at least they think they are. Fools of course, I have my ways of making things right and none of them followed their rules.

But I had a mission, thirty people or so, to train, teach and if all goes by my way of lead, I will change the system, which has not been working for years, it was time to change things, make them better or at least make it the way it was before.

_"Mister Angel?"_

_"Yes, but my name is Liam Angelus O'Connor, no questions. Where should I go now?"_


	4. Where should I go now?

_"Where should I go now?"_

That was my question, between many others of course, so what exactly was I now? A human being with mortal desires…? God, I do hate the PTB, because I'm sure this has their fingers in it. Why couldn't I just die? I wanted that! But now thinking of it, I remember a time I tried to do it, but a stubborn blonde woman convinced me otherwise.

**_Flashback_ **

_Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong…_

_Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together._

_Angel struggles with himself, knowing she's right._

_Buffy: (resolvedly) But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because..._

_She stops in mid-sentence because it has inexplicably begun to snow. She and Angel both look up at it coming down, lightly at first and gradually heavier. The camera pulls up above them and shows them standing there with the snowflakes swirling around them in the gentle morning breeze, and the ground around them starting to become white._

**_End of flashback_ **

Her words still rung through my ears and makes me think. I remember telling her if I was worth saving? Honestly I never thought I was. But after everything we put ourselves through I understand why she just couldn't let me go… 'cause until now, I never really let her go. There's nothing in this city that doesn't make me remember or think about her or them and my stupid and immortal life.

Ah... wait now it's a MORTAL LIFE! To live all by myself! Wow... I'm loving it! If it gets any better than seeing people I lost alive and breathing, but not being the ones I loved, its going to be an ecstatic experience!

Can't wait for that... first Faith… maybe tomorrow who knows it might be Giles or Gunn, maybe even Cordy or more likely to be Dawnie or Spike... with the luck I have I wouldn't be surprised... if I found Doyle, though, on a corner… I'd be eager to see my prophet again.

But where was I actually? Sure, my superiors sent me. Yes, so they told me to go look for this base or so "called" base I mean seriously why don't they say it already? Is that so hard?

I walked by the same streets of LA or NLA it feels the same for me, the only real changes I could see are the technological. So what, like that was a big thing really... new machines, latest evolutional cars that apparently are good to preserve nature resources... Can you freaking believe it?

Demons worried about nature when they are practically slaying the humans without anyone realizing it. See… humans are afraid of the unknown so they ignore the whole thing, kids dying in the streets by teeth's marks? That such a thing doesn't exits! Toddlers disappearing from their beds? Like so...

Or a big population of hybrids? That I'll explain it to you.

It's pretty much what I am now, not entirely human neither vampire, I'm in middle. I still have my vampires powers but also have my humanity, my heart beats as fast as yours, I breath and of course I eat, but seems that at least one or three days of the month I'll have to drink blood or I might get dehydration or something. There are thousands now; most of the world populations are hybrids. I've known it for a while, but I can't stop it all by myself so I try one by one but it's still worthless.

Here I am. Remember me and my Hotel the Hyperion, well it's much bigger and definitely more structured then it was before. I walked in to the hall. Right in front of where it used to have been my office, was a big holographic map showing where were the rooms, library, trainings rooms, reunion room and also where each person was... you know like in Harry Potter. I had to watch it a long time ago with Buffy toddlers because they adored and honestly I must say was quite interesting.

Backing to the point, I check the map quickly again and climb the stairs looking for the library's room, it was my first clue.

While Angel/Liam climbed the stairs, Faith was in deep conversation with the girls.

_"Yes, so like I didn't tell ya? Did I? I mean so I found the cutest guy falling into the floor and I so needed to help."_

Willow, Fred, Tara, Cordy, Anya, Kendra, Gwen and some others girls listened curiously. Making gestures and mocking their friend a little bit without her even noticing.

_"So as I was saying… deep chocolate brown eyes, the hottest body ever..."_

Unfortunately at that moment her eyes meet mine while I was standing there, holding the door open, it was quite funny watching Faith blush. I mean my whole freaking life, I would've never guessed seeing her like that except for her unusual sarcasm.

I gave her a smirk and she sat down shrinking herself in to the chair. I supposed she had the feeling of trying to make herself invisible right now... still, I had to laugh!

_"Hey there Faith! How you doing today?"_


	5. Tricking Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel is about to face the new council, or in other words Mr. Giles and Mr. Pryce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy it!! I would love some reviews :)

_"Hey there Faith! How you doing today?"_

She throws me a quick look and I see a glimpse of despair pass through her eyes before she looks around and rapidly finds her hands, keeping her eyes there like she had found something extremely amusing on her fingers nails.

The other girls that were around Faith before, gave me a quick look and stood up, asking permission to leave while two of them I noticed, being Willow and Tara, told me the very first thing that came into their minds, and logically the obvious.

_"Mr. Giles and Mr. Wyndam-Pryce, will be here in a few moments, sir."_

Still surprise by Faith manners, who of all people I knew so well, I managed to say:

_"O-kay. I'll wait."_

Then I heard others voices… One extremely similar to Dawn's, so I listened and I could hear the words:

_"I just thought…"_  - Her voice trembled, desperate and anguished.  _"Just thought…"_ – Now she was screaming as loud as her lungs allowed her to…

_"That they couldn't do it Buff, they had no right! Why?"_  I could hear her cry, while her voice became a soft whisper, _"She's our mother, we should at least have the right to…"_ She sighed, and tried in vain for what seemed to me to hold back the tears.

That… made me walk out the door, opened it and found the two girls in front of each other talking. And finally after all this time I heard the voice that I loved so much and that haunted me during the last couple of years.

_"Dawnie, I'm so sorry."_

_"You're not!"_  She said throwing her hand up in the air  _"You're not even crying! It's like it's alright with you, isn't?"_

I saw Dawn turning away from Buffy and run away, far away… the violent beating of a door was heard, meanwhile Buffy screamed her sister's name in vain.

At that moment, I saw form of Buffy standing completely still in the middle of the hallway. She breathed deeply, once, twice, a habit I was familiar with; that I knew she was doing the best she could to be strong, to keep up and not fall down on her knees and cry right there. It was painful to see her that way. I walked slowly until I was close enough to lightly touch her shoulder. She didn't even flinch, yet I felt her body tremble under my touch, almost wavering. She turned to face the person who had placed their hand on her shoulder, in order to comfort her…

Her eyes were sad, and I could see it, especially when she took a little breath and looked me straight in the eyes, finally able to pronounce something, she said:

_"I'm so sorry, you shouldn't have had to witness this family's disagreements, it's really... I don't know what to say to you, except – um..._

_"Of course…"_

Leaving my touch she turned, extending her hand to me, I held it without thinking twice and shook it.

_"Please to meet you, you must be Liam, the new watcher. I really hope you have lots and lots of patience because, well… every day here is pretty much like this."_

She pretended to smile while speaking... God, even now I knew her so well, I could see she was suffering more than she could take, even though she put a mask and let everyone believe in the lie that said everything was okay; forcing herself to smile. I didn't really think when I simply said:

_"You don't need to pretend to be strong all the time, somedays you'll fall. I only hope you have someone you trust to hold you and lend you a shoulder to cry on._

Angry, probably because I invaded her "space", she answered... Her voice hoarse and emotional, though strong and convicted all at the same time.

_"I know that! Believe me, I know. I don't need a stranger to tell me what I'm feeling, because now, right now, I feel nothing."_

God only knows how much I wish I didn't have to see the pain burning in her eyes, while her soul was being ripped out right in front of me.

_"Forgive me, I didn't mean to be rude..."_

_"It's that right now everything seems to have gone to hell or whatever. It's all. The system, my mom, being me..."_  She sighed,  _"Seriously! You better have some sort of protection, otherwise, you might as well find one, or living here isn't gonna be easy."_

She advised me, trying to soften the air that had become heavy and I said:

_"You weren't being completely rude. I know how it is, I've been through it."_

She finally let it go, closing her eyes and letting some tears fall on her face, to then quickly clean them with the palm of her hand.

_"I just need some time, I should go after my sister… um... you know... she needs me now... She can't understand why the system is so cruel or why they would do something like this."_

She didn't look at me. She faced the floor while glancing rapidly at me, gathering all the strength she had to keep talking and not collapse in tears.

_"Mr. O'Connor."_

Saved by the bell! Giles finally called me. Only God knew how much I could not look at her that way, could not stand another second more of it. I gave him an apologetic look and was about to leave when I thought about it better. I turned around and hugged her, holding her for several minutes. She clung to me as well, and for a moment it was like being home again. The energy that emanated from her was still the same.

I don't know if it was her perfume, the scent of her shampoo or conditioner, I was just not sure. I let her go, missing the touch of her body close to mine, and gave her a smile.

_"_ _Sorry_ _about your mother. I'm sure you were very close. I will try not to invade your privacy again or embracing it without being allowed."_  I said.

She smiled genuinely, saying:

_"It_ _'s okay, thanks. Well, you are now definitely part of the gang, just make sure you do not show such affection ... you know, the hugs... with Giles and Wes..."_ She whispered the last part arching her eyebrows. Even though she felt bad, she was still standing there, trying to make me feel comfortable.

_"They're_ _British, so they tend to be somewhat against it… how did Wes said it again? Oh…"_  - while doing air quotes she continued –  _"_ _public displays of affection."  
_ She smiled and left. I was watching her when she turned quickly and threw me a wink.

So this was the new Buffy? Or not? She acted and looked exactly like the Buffy I once knew. It was as surreal as with Faith. Maybe because they were the two who I had more contact with. I think the fact that I miss her and them, and then having them around even if they don't have the slightest idea who I am, can help heal the pain I feel in my heart that now beats, or… I could just be tricking myself.

Maybe I should take it slow, day after day. First things first… Giles and Wes are the two with whom I shall speak; find out what's going on with this place. Start training the girls and apparently also boys. See if I can find a way to modify the system before the damage becomes even greater.

 


	6. Tell us about yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a trip to memory land, Angel.

So here goes nothing… As Buffy herself would say.

Well, after that little encounter I went to see Giles and Wes. See… here I was sitting, in a big wooden table and chair looking at them with a bit of curiosity. Because let's face it, they looked the same, except Giles looked very parental and Wes a lot like his other self, maybe a little more fashionable, Cordy I'm sure must have her finger in this. It's good to see them all, even if is just a big faceted, but hey what it isn't?

Giles took his glasses off and did that same old habit of cleaning them and putting onto his face.

Wesley just stared with a calm and pausing mood, as he began to lecture me:

_"Well, it's good to have you finally here Mr. O'Connor. It will most definitely help us with the training and also the research._ " He shared a look with Giles which meant he was the next one to talk.

_"Liam, right? Can I call you that?"_  I was about to say something when he walked towards the window, not facing me or Wesley.

_"I've heard that you were a vampire; can you explain it to us, Angel? Can you please enlighten us about it? Or maybe you could tell us your plans? Do you wanna kill them or harm them?"_

_"What? Of course not! Giles, please… you have to understand!"_ I was trying to be as calm as I could, but that wasn't really easy at the moment.

_"Then, tell us what you know._ " He faced me with his deep green eyes glaring behind his glasses.

_"Fine..._ " I breathed twice... this wasn't going to be easy " _I… know you all. As the matter of fact, I knew you all. Buffy was the first, when I was a vampire with a soul, a half demon looked for me and gave me a reason to live, or to get redemption if you choose."_

_Buffy lived in LA with her parents at the time, Joyce and Hank, they were constantly fighting and soon as Buffy discovered she was a Slayer things started to get even worse._

I began pacing in the hall, it was the only why I could do to keep going " _She lost her first watcher Merrick while fighting with a master vampire. After that, on the night of her dance, she burned the school down to save her friends. That was the end for her parents, they got divorced, and I had never seen a girl cry as much as she at that moment. She held her heart right in front of her for everyone to see… and it was beautiful._

I could feel Giles and Wesley eyes on me. They wanted me to continue. If they only knew how hard this was…

_"Buffy moved to Sunnydale, where she apparently had decided to quit slaying. But as soon as she got into the library, you wanted to give her a Codex about Vampires._

_Anyway, well she had said no... But Buffy thinks too much. Then, she met Xander and Willow, for a while it was only the four of you. Later it came Cordy and Oz, respectively Xander and Willow's girlfriend and boyfriend._

_Me, well… I got myself in the picture just to cause heartaches and troubles. I could explain the whole Buffy/Angel epic love, but believe me it hurts too much, and you really don't need to know. I'll tell what happened but I won't tell how much it affected me. As much as I remember comes the Master Vampire and allies trying to fulfill a prophecy where Buffy was meant to die with at her 16 years old. She killed him and also fulfilled the prophecy, though, for a couple of minutes she was dead, luckily Xander and I went after her and he performed CPR bringing her back to life._

_That… was enough to raise another slayer, Kendra, which later died at the hands of Drusilla, which brought forth another slayer, Faith. Then came the crazy watcher trying to kill them with the glove of something... that gave her powers. She apparently was supposed to be Faith's watcher but she'd gone nuts and ended up dead. Then of course on Buffy's 17th birthday, I lost my soul and tried to kill you all with the help of Spike and Drusilla, I'd tried to wake Acathla, demon and bringer of Hell on earth, so Buffy sent me to Hell to close the portal."_

I could barely contain my tears but I was doing the best I could, I breathed and continued.

_"When I came back, I tried to help Buffy by staying away from her as much as I possibly could, it was hard, but it was safe. Of course then later came the mayor that wanted to eat every living person around SunnyD and with that the Ascension. Faith changed sides, known as the Rogue Slayer. She was against us and with the mayor, she was afraid, felt betrayed and lost. That was the major thing to put her aside. Who would know that all that time all she wanted was to be close to Buffy's and the Scooby Gang? Be accept by them?"_

_"I don't get it. She tried to hurt you all then?"_

_"She tried to kill me, Mr. Giles."_

_"How?"_ Always with the obvious questions... had to be Wesley.

_"By poisoning me."_

_"I've heard that when vampires are poisoned the only cure is…"_

_"Slayer's blood."_ I finished he's knowledge thinking.

_"I almost forgot to mention that in the middle of all of this… you arrived Wesley. You were to be Faith's watcher. You failed. That was one of the problems as well. I'm sorry… I know that it's hard for you both to hear it too."_

_"Keep going Angel."_  Giles assured me.

" _I moved LA, there I met Doyle, a half demon and a great friend. He worked with me and Cordy. She was the one who kept me sane most of the time. Like she used to say, I'm a very brooding guy myself."_

I continued talking about LA, my friends, Buffy and the Scooby Gang, until I finally got to the point they so wanted to know… The creation of the System.

_"After some years of battle and the return of me and Spike to the gang, him as a human, me as a vampire with a bounded soul… Buffy married and got pregnant with her first child. I wasn't going to be the one to ruin her happiness. All of us decided to create a better world so to speak. The war was getting even worse and of course we needed to stop it or minimize it."_

_"How?"_  They both man asked me.

_"A deal... Written in paper and signed with blood. The demon world and our world, to live in harmony from that time forward."_

_"Seems that didn't work. They broke the system, and now they think they have the control, Mr. O'Connor! I don't see how we can change it!"_  Wesley said almost screaming his anger out at me, like I could blame him for anything.

_"I understand your anger Wes. I mean Wesley. But there's nothing I can do about it on my own. I lost them all and the few there were left… I distanced myself from."_

_You mean they had children, grandchildren and well… not sure how the linage continues._

_"Yes."_  I answered again. I was fighting the tears, but soon I discovered I wasn't the only one. Both men looked very stunned and also surprised by my little biography. If they only knew how much I wanted to die the day Faith found me, they wouldn't be so overwhelmed by it.

_"This must be awful."_

_"Living?"_  I asked not focusing on any of them, actually I was probably looking nowhere, memories kept rushing back in my head.

I take a deep breath before saying " _Yes. More than you can even imagine."_

_We're really sorry. Maybe we should call it a night. After all… it has been a long day for all of us, especially you._

_Actually, I think that the day was much harder for the Summers' sisters._

_"Maybe, maybe…"_  Giles finally said taking off his glasses and doing that so known movement of cleaning them and wearing them again so to speak, then Wesley did the same.. man... how wicked can things get?

**_Meanwhile_ **

In the girls bedroom, Faith was the one to speak…

_"Don't you guys think he looks with someone? He looks familiar to me."_

_"Wow… Faithy you just kissed the guy… of course he seems familiar to you…"_  Anya said making a sexy voice while mocking her friend.

Faith just turned around and murmured: _"I'm gonna check B and D. See if they are alright. K?"_

_"Sure."_ Answered Tara and Willow together.

At that same moment, Buffy slowly went into her sister's room. She needed to see how the girl was feeling. God knows that her herself wanted to disappear and dissipate, the image of her mother as a vampire attacking her and then her herself having to dust her. All she could think about was dust and blood, but now she had to be strong, hold her tears and support her younger sister.

_"Hey Dawnie..._ " She said in the most soothing, soft voice she could.

_"Hi Buff."_

_"Promise me you won't let me be alone! That you are not gonna send me to dad. I don't wanna live with him Buffy."_ She began saying between sobs.

_"Of course not... Never Dawn! You're my baby sister and I promised mom and myself to take care of you. You're not going anywhere."_

_"You promise? For real?"_

_"Of course."_  She said holding her sister next to her.

Faith opened the door and gazed at the girls. Buffy made a move expressing her to come closer.

_"I'm so sorry girls."_

_"Kay Faithy."_  Said Dawnie still snuggled up to her sister and sniffing.

Faith enveloped the both girls into a bear hug, saying she would do anything to help.

When Dawn finally fell asleep, Faith and Buffy left the room silently, now was time to see the watchers and give the gang the bad news… God knew it wasn't going to be easy. Faith led Buffy and squeezed her arm slightly in a way of courage.

They found Liam with his eyes closed breathing deeply with his back to the wall. Tears were streaming down his face which worried both girls.

_"Liam."_  He heard a small voice, one that he recognized as being Faith's.

_"Are y' okay man?"_

He said nothing, did nothing; he kept still… the same way until he heard Buffy's voice a little louder than Faith's, even kinder and calmer.

_"Liam…"_

At the same moment he heard Giles screaming.  _Angel?_

_"I'll be fine Mr. Giles. Don't worry about me, though you should worry about your slayers."_

_"Angel?"_  Both girls repeated looking confused.

He had dried the tears with his hands and looked to them.

_"It's an old nickname... from another lifetime. We can talk about it in the morning."_

_"No._ " She said grabbing his arm " _We can talk about it right now. Who are you?"_

_"My name is Liam Angelus O'Connor, mostly known as the Scourge of Europe and later as only Angel. Though it's incredible how you speak my name exactly the way she did. Actually… it's awful to even think that I know each one of you precisely as you're now or were. I can't fool myself anymore and think that hiding it from you or your friends..."_ I breathed longing for air; my heart was breaking in a thousand pieces while she looked deeply in my eyes… those big hazel green eyes of her.

_"Or our friends, because all of you were part of my life and I just wanted to die. But no…"_ I said holding the tears… even though I could see her eyes full of fresh tears ready to come, I couldn't hold it anymore, so I fell holding myself into her, shaking, crying.

_"Shhh... Angel its okay. I'm right here, you're not alone."_

Faith, Giles and Wesley watched the scene in front of them. Their hearts ached for him. The worry in their faces combined with Buffy and the previous events, at seeing her kneel and hold herself into him close, like her life depend on him for living... she cried, they both were.

He because of his past, her because of the present; she couldn't understand why she felt so safe, so loved, and so wanted. She had never felt that with any man before. Maybe like Faith had told her once, she just hadn't found the right one yet, and of course her life wasn't a bed full of roses.

 


	7. What is going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys of the Scooby team are confused.

The scene was being watched by Faith, Wes and Giles had for some minutes, when they finally decided to leave them alone. For a long period of time, Buffy stroked Angel's hair and kept saying soft words even though she was slightly crying herself.

Angel moved slowly away from her embrace to look at her. She gave him a small smile, trying not to drown herself into his deep brown chocolate eyes, searching for an answer of what had just happened there.

_"Are you okay now?"_  She attempted to ask.

_"Yes, I'm sorry I cried all over you…"_  He said felling a little embarrassed at knowing that if it was his Buffy she wouldn't have cared at all. She would've been okay knowing that he trusted her enough to open up like he had.

_"Its okay… we both did. It's only water after all, it can be washed later, though I think pain is much harder to solve…"_

He looked a little surprised by her comment, he smirked at her and was helping her get up when he felt a fist connect to his face… and before he could even notice who someone was attacking him, and he was being beaten up.

After a moment, he was finally able to hold on to the attacker for a second, but hardly enough to say something. He just heard between socks and punches…

_"You hurt her, I hurt you!"_

_"Spike!"_  Angel could hear lot of voices coming and going, then suddenly the beating stopped. Who had he heard, someone, Giles? Wesley...? He just couldn't put his finger on which one it was... he could hear them saying…

_"He's the new watcher!"_

Suddenly Spike stopped completely; he had a mix of feelings on his face from shame to regret.

_"Giles?"_  Spike said  _"Why the bloody hell didn't you fucking tell me that we were getting a 'new guy' in the house?"_  Spike finally blurred out helping Angel to his feet while giving him a grin.

_"Well, mate. Nice meeting you, I'm Spike."_ He said all the while shaking Angel's hand  _"I'll introduce you to the males of gang, so to speak and then later we can get a drink... As soon as I figure out what is wrong with blondie."_  He smiled calmly at him with an apologetic look as well.

_"Hey love, where's Mrs. S?"_

_"She's gone Spy…"_

Spike apparently didn't seem to understand what she meant by that. He was trying to read her but her eyes were focusing nowhere and as soon as she lifted her eyebrows and saw the tears forming in her eyes, he knew.

He also figured out why the "new guy" was holding her before. He began to feel like he couldn't breathe. For Spike, she was like his own mother, his parents had been closed to Buffy's family when they were younger and when a car accident killed his both parents; the legal custody was given to Joyce. He'd been an only child and Joyce had been his mother's best friend since birth… literally.

The memories came rushing through his mind making him dizzy and uncomfortable... he felt like he was being sucked in by a hole in the ground. He was standing still without moving or breathing until he felt a slightly touch to his arm. He just gave in to holding her and crying. Buffy just allowed herself to be held while trying to give some kind of comfort to her best friend and almost a brother.

After some minutes, he released her. Buffy still trying to cope with their loss.

_"How is the nibblet?"_  He said with concern.

Though Angel noticed more than concern, it was also wonder and love. Spike, even after all this time, loved the same girl here, even with being raised with them both he was still in love with the youngest of the Summers.

_"She's sleeping now. But you should check on her, you know how much she misses you as well. After all, its been months since your last visited..."_

Spike roll his eyes, he was only trying to be away from someone he loved more than life itself and maybe… that was the reason he was feeling so guilty.

Angel was looking to the others and gave them a quick wave and smile. We already knew each other... so what was the problem?

Spike said something about getting them some food and to make himself at home, while he left to check on Dawn. Buffy was left with all the boys.

_"Okay, guys… you heard Spike… make yourselves comfortable. We all missed you guys... but before you ask me, Giles and Wes will be expecting all your reports and be aware of lots of questions them might kindly ask."_

She then got a bear hug from them, giving her their condolences and some sort of strength, saying they would be there for anything she needed at all.

_"Thanks I love you guys too."_  Was her reply

_"Am I included on that too?"_ Angel joked trying to make the room a little less serious.

She smiled warmly and looked him from the corner of her eye.

_"Will you tell me about them? How you met her…? I mean, me?"_

Angel breathed deeply. It was one thing telling Giles and Wes their story... but Buffy... he knew telling Buffy would be a stab through his now beating heart.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Buffy have a heart to heart.

The scene was being watched by Faith, Wes and Giles had for some minutes, when they finally decided to leave them alone. For a long period of time, Buffy stroked Angel's hair and kept saying soft words even though she was slightly crying herself slightly.

Angel moved slowly away from her embrace to look at her. She gave him a small smile, trying not to drown herself into his deep brown chocolate eyes, searching for an answer of what had just happened in there.

" _Are you okay now?"_  She attempted to ask.

" _Yes,_ _I'm sorry I cried all over you…"_ He said felling a little embarrassed at knowing that if it was his Buffy she wouldn't have cared at all. She would've been okay knowing that he trusted her enough to open up like he had.

" _Its okay… we both did._ _And_ _I_ _t's only water after all, it can be washed later, though I think pain is much harder to solve…"_

He looked a little surprised by her comment, he smirked at her and was helping her get up when he felt a fist connect to his face… and before he could even notice who the attacking someone was, he was being beaten him up.

After a moment, he was finally able to hold on to the attacker for a second, but hardly enough to say something. He just heard between the socks and the punches…

" _You hurt her, I hurt you!"_

" _Spike!"_  Angel could hear lot of voices coming and going, then suddenly the beating stopped. Who had he heard, someone, Giles? Wesley...? he just couldn't put his finger on which one it was... he could hear them saying…

" _He's the new watcher!"_

Suddenly Spike stopped completely; he had a mix of feelings on his face from shame to regret.

" _Giles?"_  Spike said  _"Why the_ _bloody_ _hell didn't you fucking_ _tell_ _me that we were_ _getting_ _a 'new guy' in the house?"_  Spike finally blurred out said helping Angel to his feet while giving him a grin.

" _Well, mate. Nice meeting you, I'm Spike."_ He said all the while shaking Angel's hand.  _"I'll introduce you to the males_ _of_ _gang,_ _as_ _so to speak and_ _then later_ _we can get a drink... As soon as I figure out what is wrong with blondie."_ He smiled calmly at him with an apologetic look as well.

" _Hey love, where's Mrs. S?"_

" _She's gone Spy…"_

Spike apparently didn't seem to understand what she meant by that. He was trying to read her but her eyes were focusing nowhere and as soon as she lifted her eyebrows and he saw the tears forming in her eyes, he knew.

He also figured out why the "new guy" was holding her before. He began to feel like he couldn't breathe. For Spike, she was like his own mother, his parents had been closed to Buffy's family when they were younger and when a car accident killed his both parents; the legal custody was given to Joyce. 'cause He'd been an only child and Joyce had been his mother's best friend since birth… literally.

The memories came rushing through his mind making him dizzy and uncomfortable... he felt like he was being sucked in by a hole in the ground. He was standing still without moving or breathing until he felt a slightly touch to his arm. He just gave in to holding her and crying. Buffy just allowed herself to be held while trying to give some kind of comfort to the her best friend and almost a brother.

After some minutes, he released. Buffy still trying to cope with their loss.

" _How is the nibblet?"_  He said with concern.

Though Angel noticed more than concern, it was also wonder and love. Spike, even after all this time, loved the same girl in here, even with being raised with them both he was still in love with the youngest of the Summers.

" _She's sleeping now. But you should check_ _on_ _her, you_ _k_ _now how much she misses you as well._ _After all, its been months since your last visit_ _ed..."_

Spike roll his eyes, he was only trying to be away from someone he loved more than life itself and maybe… that was the reason he was feeling so guilty.

Angel was looking to the others and gave them a quick wave and smile. We already knew each other... so what was the problem?

Spike said something about getting them some food and to make himself at home, while he left to check on Dawn. Buffy was left with all the boys.

" _Okay, guys… you heard Spike… make yourselves comfortable. We all missed you guys..._ _but_ _before you ask me, Giles and Wes will be expecting all your reports and_ _also_ _be aware of lots of questions them might kindly ask."_

She then got a bear hug from them, giving her their condolences and some sort of strength, saying they would be there for anything she needed at all.

" _Thanks I love you guys too."_  Was her reply.

" _Am I included on that too?"_ Angel joked trying to make the room a little less serious.

She smiled warmly and looked at him from the corner of her eye.

" _Will you tell me about them? How_ _did_ _you met her…? I mean, me?"_

Angel breathed deeply. It was one thing was telling Giles and Wes their story... but Buffy... he knew telling Buffy would be a stab through his now beating heart.

" _A_ _lright..._ _but_ _maybe tomorrow. Today we kinda got flood_ _ed_ _with_ _emotions, you more than me…"_

" _Just tell me how you met her?_ _Or_ _Anything?"_

" _Anything?"_  Angel swallowed in dry and looked directly into her eyes.

" _I loved her. I_ _ **still**_ _love her, but that doesn't_ _tell_ _you much... I miss her laughter and the way she used to sing_ _to_ _the radio, or just the way she smelled, her voice. Funny isn't?"_

" _No."_  Buffy said looking at the outside the window, though it was completely dark.  _I thin_ _k_ _it's a good way_ _to_ _remember her. You said that you already know us all;_ _I_ _mean you also already knew me, and one of my friends is the girl you loved... I mean love. That must be awful. I can't imagine loving someone like you_ _do_ _love her and losing it. I can't even think of how much_ _that must_ _have hurt you, seeing her here. I mean,_ _god_ _it could be Will or Faith, or even Cordy or Fred... I mean it could be_ _any_ _one of them._  (She babbled.

" _Actually it's none of the above…"_  Angel said shaking his head a bit.

" _So, maybe it's Dawnie, or Gwen, or Nina, they're pretty you know. Or even mom... wow dear god was it mom?"_  She kept babbling  _"Or even..."_

" _It's you."_  His voice came out soft.

" _Me?"_  She sounded extremely surprised.  _"And you just spend the whole day_ _consoling_ _me about my mother, wow MY GOD, Angel I'm so sorry. I should have known."_

" _It doesn't matter_ _at all_ _. I was going to hold you even if you knew, and of course I would_ _have_ _be_ _en_ _punched by Spike as well… with pleasure. I do know you're not her,_ _though,_ _so it makes a little bit easier to_ _be_ _around you."_

" _Does it hurt…_ _to_ _look at me?"_

" _No…_ _It j_ _ust makes me wanna_ _go_ _back_ _in_ _time."_  He said walking away, letting her watch his back for a while.

" _I guess I understand that…"_  She said, slightly touching his arm.

Suddenly they both heard a scream. They ran towards it only to find Dawn crying her heart out holding on tightly to Spike.

" _It_ _'s okay Bit, seriously I'm not going anywhere..."_  They couldn't hear her reply, though Spike continued comforting her.

Spike glanced at Buffy and Angel; they understood and closed the door. Now there they were again, in the corridor looking at each other. Buffy was the first to break the silence.

" _They're_ _beautiful…"_ _she said smiling shyly._

" _What? What exactly is beautiful?"_ _he questioned taken back._

" _Your eyes, they say a lot about you. Haven't you heard_ _about it_ _that_ _before?"_

He gave her a smirk and gestured her a sign so she to follow him. Of course he'd heard that before, she herself had told him that once.

" _Where are you taking me?"_

" _I wanna show you something."_

They walked out of the Hyperion Hotel onto the street, it was dark and rarely would have a living soul walking around but for some reason she felt safe with him, trusted him. She was the first to stop, and Angel didn't understand why.

" _Buffy?"_

" _I know this place."_

" _Well considering you live here, of course you do beloved."_

"No, not like that, I… I had a dream before meeting you. You kissed me very passionately... here… (Buffy looked anywhere else but at him, she felt a little embarrassed and he could also see her blushing).

" _Wait a second… A dream?"_

" _Well, yeah... um… a very erotic and_ _ **very**_ _realistic dream."_  She said panting while blushing, looking even more uncomfortable by the second. _"Okay changing the subject…"_

" _No. How exactly_ _did_ _you dream_ _with_ _something_ _ **she**_ _was_ _never aware_ _of_ _?"_

" _You never told her? You kept that to yourself…"_ She spoke incredulous, getting closer to him, as if almost attacking him with her words.  _"How could you?_ _How could you l_ _ive like that?"_  She threw her hands in the air in a sign of protest and anger, though he thought it was another thing, it was despair over something she herself could not control.

" _Why you are so angry? I_ _t_ _was not you. You are not her!"_  Angel said with closed teeth looking deep inside her eyes.

" _What makes you be so sure?"_  She went on…

He turned himself around quickly and again came face to face with her. It was he then his turn to throw his hands up in the air as a form of protest and aggravation, he found himself again sitting on the floor holding his knees against his body and suddenly he felt the feeling then of a single drop and then another mixing with his tears he lifted his face up and the feeling of rain across his face. She knelt beside him and said:

" _Just like the first time you were together. I_ _am_ _her and I'm not. I have a new life and an old one, and I just wish I could be her, because nobody is going to love me the way you loved her. It was the best dream I ever had. You were making love to her… not_ _having_ _meaningless_ _sex. I didn't kn_ _o_ _w the difference until then. The way you looked at her, kissed her, loved her..."_  Her voice was fading away.

" _How can you possibly say that no one is gonna love you that way? Didn't your boyfriend ever_ _do_ _that to you; didn't he_ _make_ _love to you properly?"_

" _My boyfriend?"_  She had tears in her beautiful hazel green eyes mixed with the rain that was sulking them both and making her shiver.

" _Of course."_

" _He wasn't my boyfriend and he was_ _n't even_ _not_ _gentle at all. It wasn_ _'_ _t a perfect night. It was a nightmare."_  She kept pausing between her words infatuating them, her voice was strong though, you could tell.

He was about to say something when he heard her small voice again…

" _You love_ _d_ _her. I hated and despised him. You wanted her. I never wanted him. You beg her return. I wish_ _ed_ _his_ _own_ _death and mine."_

Angel couldn't breathe for a moment. He looked at her. He could see her hate, anger, sadness, fear, disgust, all mixed up onto one. He reached tried to reach her arm but it was useless, he heard her saying between the sobs and the rain a loudly:

" _Please, just don't touch me."_

He respected that, but he knew he had to get her out of the rain and also of the cold. He it didn't mind it but even if him she was a slayer, she was after all still human, whether she liked it her or not. And he had to take her out of there.

" _Look."_  He said calmly towards her. _"We need to get the hell out of this pouring rain at least."_

She didn't reply.

" _Buffy!"_

He screamed, reaching her arm and making her face him.

" _Please, Buffy. Just let me_ _get_ _you out of the rain."_

" _Why do you care? I told you I'm not her!"_  She yelled back at him, the sound of the rain falling was even harder now and it stifled her voice. She was soaking wet by now, just as much as he was.

" _Because... just because I am you watcher from now on. And_ _like it_ _you_ _or not, I will always care! Always!"_  Again he said firmly to her, looking deep inside her eyes trying to convince that stubborn blonde to come with him.

" _I don't wanna go home_ _yet_ _."_

" _You don't have to. We can go to a hotel, change_ _out of_ _these_ _wet clothes and get some sleep._ _And_ _Maybe you can_ _even_ _tell me who the fuck hurt you 'cause if_ _its up to_ _depends_ _on_ _me, he's getting_ _his face_ _smashed."_

" _Spike already did_ _it_ _."_  She said letting him lead her away.

" _So Spike was with you?"_

" _No. I was alone in this junk_ _of a_ _party and_ _when_ _I left_ _out of_ _the house for a moment…_ _and_ _two guys caught me. I just_ _froze_ _. Pathetic, huh? I mean_ _I'm_ _a freaking slayer and I was afraid of two guys that I could have killed if I wanted_ _to_ _."_

" _You weren't a slayer_ _at that_ _the_ _moment. You were just you, this amazing,_ _and_ _full of life girl I know…"_

Buffy shook her head disagreeing with him a negative response. She took a breath and started talking again.

" _I started screaming when I realized what was happening, but my voice faded. I could only feel despair and fear. He kept repeating how good it was to fuck a pretty little blonde_ _one_ _. That it was a pleasure to him. He_ _tossed_ _me on the floor with my torn clothes_ _as_ _I got covered with mud and blood, shivering in the cold of the night. Spike found me minutes later. He was pissed_ _but_ _also terrified."_

He could read her body language easily. Her arms wrapped tightly around her on body, her slow movement of eyes as she was trying hard not to cry again. He moved closer to her little by little so she wouldn't back off and laid a hand on her shoulder. She turned to him and caught his eyes. There was no disgust of what she had said, no disappointment.

" _What?"_  He asked.

" _You_ _'re not_ _disgust_ _ed by_ _me?"_

" _Excuse me? Why would I_ _be_ _? It wasn't your fault. Plus… he was an asshole in not seeing the mistake he was_ _committing_ _. He didn't_ _see_ _your beauty, he didn't_ _see_ _you."_

He said touching her face with the thumb of his hand, caressing over her lips softly. He stopped the process when he noticed where they were.

" _What… is there something wrong?"_  She said catching his hand.

" _Nothing. Let's_ _go inside_ _. I know this place. They_ _remodeled_ _it, but it's pretty much_ _like_ _the_ _same_ _._ _They m_ _ust have a dryer so we can dry_ _these_ _wet clothes of ours."_

" _Ok."_  She said getting leaning closer to him, now that the rain had stopped the wind was giving her the chills, and plus he was, right now, warmer than her, and it give her the feeling of safeness.

" _You ok?"_

" _Sure."_  She said backing up a little.

" _If_ _you want to be close I'm fine with that. After_ _all,_ _if you don't, you might freeze."_

He put a protective arm around her waist and led her inside. It was a small hotel and he knew it but it had exactly what they needed.

" _Hello Sir. May I help you and the Lady?"_

" _Evening.._ _. I_ _need a_ _room please."_

The attendant of the hotel looked at the soaking couple and decided to give them the last room available. The place It was full of romance stories, and as a romantic as himself, he would enjoy seeing another story form itself… right in front of him.

" _There's a dryer in the room, and also some robes. You might need it_ _in_ _this_ _rainy,_ _cold day."_

" _Thank you."_  They both replied.

They climbed the stairs and walked down the long corridor until they found the room. Angel opened the door with Buffy behind him. As They could see the room was small, but enough for two people. There was only one bed extremely well made, the covers were dark red and the pillows were light white. Buffy went in and rushed straight to the bathroom. Angel asked Buffy for her clothes and took his off to put them in the dryer while she bathed.

It didn't take long for to the clothes to be dry, but Angel was tired, he grabbed some get the covers and snuggled himself in the chair, waiting for her to come out but suddenly, he was sound asleep.

Buffy watched him for a second then grabbed her clothes out of the bed and got dressed. It was warm inside the room apparently Angel had turn on the heater for her.

She didn't want to wake him since he looked so peaceful while he slept. She slightly touched his arm, and caressingly then touched his face, his hair and traced his lips with the thumb of her hand. He moved a little opening his big and penetrating chocolate eyes.

" _I didn't mean to wake you up."_

" _You were touching me."_

" _I'm sorry."_  She moved back a little still looking at him.

" _Why?"_

" _You look_ _ed so_ _peaceful_ _while_ _you sle_ _pt_ _. And I just... I don't know. My mind_ _keeps_ _say_ _ing_ _something, my heart says another,_ _and_ _I'm really trying to rationalize it."_

" _Rationalize what?"_

" _You! I don't know what to think, what to feel._ _Am I_ _her_ _or Am I_ _not. I have her memories and have mine. But I never..."_  ( again her voice began to fade away).

He approached her bringing her to his arms. She was calm though he could hear her heart pounding hard by the second. Of course right now she was completely dressed though he was only wearing his pants.

" _Still want to rationalize it?"_

Her breath was strong and he could feel her body shaking in expectation, desire, lust and deep in her eyes, what was that? Had he just seen his Buffy again?

" _Just kiss me."_  she breathed desperate. See if you like

" _Kiss you?"_  He brought her even closer to him.

" _You can't right? I might look like her and_ _may_ _even try to be her but…"_

Her babble was cut off by the touch of his lips on hers. He felt her body tremble a bit and softened right after. They kissed passionately for a long moment until breathing became a problem. He was still holding her, his forehead touching hers, his arms around her tiny and petite body; his eyes closed cherishing the moment. Then he felt her breathe deeply and a soon came the question.

" _Could you possibly ever love me the way you loved her?"_

He then just froze. Love her the way he had loved Buffy? But wasn't she Buffy in any kind of way? Each piece of her was exactly as he remembered. Again… was his mind playing tricks on him?


	9. Do you love me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy' insecurities come back to hunt her.

Buffy released herself from his warm embrace never leaving his eyes. For a moment Angel felt cold and desolated. He didn't know how to answer her. Like she, herself had told him once, she was and wasn't Buffy. But what kept him away exactly? Fear? Or maybe it was the thought of betraying her once again, that scared him to death?

_"I understand…" she answered, a hurtful expression on her face._

_"You couldn't possibly understand…" he said trying to explain._

_"You feel like you are betraying her…"_

He was perplexed. Only Buffy could read him so that well. Especially from where she was standing. He started pacing and said:

_"Ok... Maybe you do know what I'm talking about…"_

_"Maybe? Look I know it's weird, God knows how weird this is for me. I mean I'm actually the dead love of an undead and living life. It's beyond wicked. To say the least, my friends were your friends and the friends of your dead love and I still have these amazing and also very erotic dreams about you and also some that are awful and keep me wake the whole freaking night…"_

Before he could say anything she continued her unstoppable babbling.

_"And I feel like I'm totally safe when I'm in your arms or beside you and how freaky is that? I **mean…** How crazy is it to remember a whole conversation and keep repeating it in your own head because you just don't want to forget it? Or Even the small things like how the rain makes you sad…"_

_"Buffy"_

_"Huh?"_  She turned to him and gave him a soft smirk.

_"I don't know. I'm sorry but I don't know."_

_"Fine. I get it. I'm going to sleep."_  She said walking closed to him and giving him a kiss on his cheek.

_"Night."_  She whispered in his ear.

_"Goodnight…"_

Buffy laid down in the bed and push the covers over her body to warm her up.

Meanwhile, Angel paced around the room. Incapable of sleep he leaned over the bed trying not to wake her up. She stirred a little in her sleep and Angel watched her, he touched her shoulder and she woke up, wide eyed, open worry was written on her.

_"Is_ _there something wrong, Liam?"_

_"No. I...I'm just not able to sleep. Do you mind if I just hold you?"_

_"Yeah. Are you sure you're okay?"_

_"Um um… Just tired."_  He got closer to her and held her.

_"Goodnight…"_

Buffy felt even safer now with his arms around her waist. Keeping her close to his warm body, breathing in her scent, hearing her breathe, and feeling the beating of her heart. A beating that was so particular to him. He now felt stupid for not letting her know about his soul when his Buffy was around, when he could reach her, in a touch, or call. When he could get lost in her deep hazel eyes and wished to never be found. Again he was lost, he was lost in HER.

**_Meanwhile in the Old Hyperion Hotel_ **

Giles and Wesley were talking.

_"Well, Wesley… indeed you are correct. As soon as he discovers how to reach the one he loves we will have our memories back…"_

_"Yes, Rupert that's exactly what is written in this book over here."_  He and Giles were around this large table full of books and other artifacts.

_"Do you think he might succeed?"_  Wesley questioned Giles lifting his eyebrow.

_"He's already wrapped around her finger without noticing. She might be herself as well."_  Giles said cleaning his glasses.

_"You really think they'll find each other?"_

_"I'm sure they will."_

**_Meanwhile in the Hyperion Hotel_ **

Most of the boys were already set up to sleep and also were the girls... of course the girls were gossiping around and some of the boys due to tiredness fell into bed.

Spike was watching Dawn sleep safely in his arms. God he wished so much to be able to tell her how he felt about her. He had imagined it several times, her at her 18 years old, walking on the beach with a big warm smile on her face wearing her so called jeans and her colorful light blouses waving at him. If he could just hold her and claim all his love for her... They would kiss, talk, they would love. But he knew that was only a dream, she was 5 years younger than him, practically a child.

Suddenly Dawn moved in her sleep and tightly held on to Spike again. Whispering something in her sleep, she seemed disturbed in her sleep so Spike shook her out of it, waking her up. Her deep blue eyes looked at him and with a soundly yawn, she asked what was wrong.

_"What 's up?"_

_"Nothing... um...you looked disturbed in your sleep."_

_"Spike?"_  She said sitting a little supporting her weight on Spike's chest and a little on the bed.

_"Um…"_ He said looking deeply into her eyes and smirking a little at her.

_"You know I love you right?"_ she asked.

_"Of course pet. Come on Bit just go back to sleep, it's been a long day."_

There was silence between them…

_"I love you too you know that."_ he finally said.

_"Thanks for being here…"_

Dawn closed her eyes and thought to herself how pathetic it was telling him over and over again that she loved him, when he only saw her as the little sister. Maybe she should give up on him and move on, but it was hard when he was so close and was tightly keeping her wrapped in his strong arms.

**_Back at the hotel_ **

Angel had woken up and was taking a shower. Buffy was still sleeping and also dreaming. She was dreaming about a wounded Angel laying on a bed burning in cold fever, later she felt her neck being bitten and woke up screaming. Angel got quickly out of the bathroom and when he was about to help her she yelled:

_"Back off! Back off! You're a monster you bite her! Me! I..."_  She started crying incapable of understanding why she had done what she had done, letting herself being bitten in the past.

_"Can I explain why you did it…?"_

_"Why, Angel?"_

_"What did you just call me?"_

_"Angel of course… What else would I call you?"_

_"Liam."_

_"Did you just go completely crazy? Why would I call you by your birth name if you just hate it?"_

_"Buffy?"_  He looked at her and noticed that the girl that moments ago had been yelling at him was now calm and luckily seem to know exactly who he was.

_"Who are you?"_


	10. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past Buffy and Present Buffy are in the same body, Angel is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter!   
> Share your thoughts!

Buffy burst into laughter. She hadn't quite laughed as much as she did in that moment in a long time. She calmed herself and looked at him. She looked extremely surprised then. Almost terrified.

_"Seriously? Man, did you just go dumb or something?"_   Then she looked her surroundings.  _"Where are we? Angel?"_

She looked at him, now she was worried, maybe even afraid.

_"Answer my question!"_  Angel said grabbing her arms and holding them tight.

_"This is ridiculous! Angel it's me! Buffy! Who the hell do you think I am?"_

She answered annoyed and then continued…

_"Now you answer me! Where are we? Where are my kids? Where are Emy and Matt? Angel?"_

_"Oh My God! Buffy it's really you…"_  He let her go for a second and pulled her close to his body in an embrace.

_"Angel, you're scaring me..."_   She held him close to her, she felt safe like usual.

"My head's hurting. I don't understand anything."

_"Buffy you're alive again. Reborn beloved…"_  Buffy was being held by Angel so she wouldn't fall.

"What? But I have other memories… like I can't remember of you... you're not there Angel... am I having amnesia? Or is it like a dream? Are we in heaven… did you come back to me?

Tears streamed down his beautiful face. Buffy touched his face gently wiping his tears with her thumb and kissing him slightly... like she was asking for permission to do it. His responded to her actions by pulling her close and tasting her lips… A bitter sweet taste mixed with tears. When breathing became an issue for both, he slowly pulled her away but still keeping her close to him.

_"Angel? Please talk to me."_

He sat her down looking straight into her eyes... God only knows how he had missed the recognition showing in her beautiful hazel green eyes.

_"You said I was reborn, like... I live again with another name and ID? A different family, friends... I remember thinks that never happened with me before and I can't remember you... or the things we had together."_

_"It's okay."_

_"No it's not! I have these memories that are so awful as well. I was hurt, my mom is dead, God Dawnie is so sad."_

_"Buffy stop it. Come, get some sleep. You might feel better later."_  He laid her down on the bed and put the covers over her, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

_"Will you hold me? I know its morning but will you just hold me?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Angel?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Nothing…"_ She breathed.

_"I know you… What's on your mind?"_ He said looking down at her.

_"It's nothing... it's just if I sleep and I come back as the other me? I mean I don't wanna leave you Angel. I told you I would find you again and I just... I don't want to let you go."_  The tears fell streaming down her face, God it was like putting a freaking stake to his heart. He wanted to kiss her, have her right here and now. But his mind kept him sane.

_"Just sleep, beloved. I'll be here when you wake up. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_  She said holding him tighter against her small body.

**_Meanwhile in Dawn's room_ **

Dawn slept soundly in Spikes arms. She was dreaming... Well as a matter of fact it was a very yummy dream. There she was curled up in Spike arms while he gently kissed her neck and slowly captured her lips in his lips touching her skin softy. Whispering against it how much he was wishing just this that for such a long time. Their breathing becoming one, their bodies trembling with anxiety, and unquenched lust. Suddenly she wakes with a noise.

_"Bugger."_  Spike wakes as well and looks at her confused with her swearing.

_"What pet? It's probably the rain or the wind. Go to sleep again. Wow... wait a second what time is it?"_

_"7:30am."_

_"Go back to sleep."_  He said with a yawn and a very sleepy voice.

_"I wish I could go back to my dream."_

_"That good, huh?"_

_"You wouldn't believe it if I told you…"_  She said giving him a soft smirk.

_"So who was the lucky guy?"_  He said lifting his eye brow, not sure he wanted to know.

_"Why do you ask?"_

_"Bit, I wasn't completely asleep 'y know."_

Dawn swallowed in dry before saying something like "no one in particular". Then Spike left his laying down position for a sitting one whispering very close to her ear the same way he had done in her dream:

_"That's bullshit and you know it. Who is it?"_  With his best puppy eyes and a sexy voice he asked.

_"You..."_  The whisper was so low that he thought that he may have been crazy… definitely she hadn't said  _him_  right?

_"What pet?"_

"I said you... it's ridiculous, I know, because you see me like a sister and… She didn't get to finish because the moment Spike heard it was him, he just pulled her to him and kissed her with all he had.

He could feel her body trembling with longing for his touch, his kisses... He felt her responding to his kisses, slowly searching for his body, touching him, kissing him and suddenly when breathing became issue, the two lovers broke apart.

_"I'm sorry."_  Spike said getting quickly off the bed.

_"What for?"_  She said grabbing his arm. _"I kissed you back."_

_"Dawnie you're just a child, well you're 17 but still. I can't do this. I can't let myself go, even if I really do want this. I can't just make love to you like that."_

_"You're… rejecting me?"_

_"No never... I want you! Badly, but I want you because I can't have you. Not because of a silly dream."_

_"Don't you get it? How many times do I have to tell you that I FREAKING LOVE YOU?"_  She said raising her voice a little bit in the end and saying it like she was spelling it out or something like that.

_"You love me? Like a sister does a brother."_

_"No William. I love you like a woman. But fine… don't believe me."_

He grabbed her arm pulling her close to him.

_"And if I wanted to be your boyfriend?"_

Dawn smiled from ear to ear before pulling him into a kiss again.


	11. Unsure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations between Buffy and Angel, as the team search for answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two more chapters to go, hope you like it ;)

**_In the hotel_ **

Buffy woke feeling strong arms around her waist in a very protective and also very sexual way. She didn't move for a while, she decided just to enjoy the closeness. She knew that she wasn't herself or at least she wasn't the one she was now.  _God did that actually make any sense? Angel. Does he still love me or her... Me? God dammit!_ She moved brusquely which woke the sleeping ex-vampire. But all he did was look at her and close his eyes just favoring the way she moved around the room the vanilla scent of hers still lingering on his flesh.

Buffy was pacing in the room thoughts flashing through her mind.

_And if he doesn't wanna be with be? I'm not exactly her… maybe I should tell him... Is he sleeping yet? No maybe not or he is. God! I can't think straight at all._

That's when she felt his hand touch her shoulder.

_"What's on your mind?"_ He asked her softly.

_"God, Angel you're scared me."_

_"So, care to share?"_   He said touching slightly his fingers on her forehead.

She moved a little, creating space between them. She look to the floor and locked her eyes with his for a second before she turned her back to him and started talking… actually it was more like babbling than talking… she just started rambling about that.

_"Angel?"_  She said in the exactly same way only she could.  _"I know I wasn't "me" some hours ago... I mean I was me but not really me... I was her... but not totally her because I was still me. And I just wanted to be her… Just because of the way you looked at her, ached for her, needed her... God the way you kissed her."_ Her voice was trembling and lowering.

He was about to say something when she continued.

_"You kissed me and I felt like I wanted to die... I know it sounds crazy but I just don't want you to ever stop. I want you close. Holding me, touching me, breathing me, loving me, kissing me, desiring me; just the way you desire her."_

_"Buffy."_  God why couldn't she just stop babbling for a freaking second!

_"No. I don't need you to feel sorry for me. I understand I'm not the woman you loved in the first place."_   Her eyes were full of tears ready to stream down her beautiful face.

_"I don't pity you, beloved. I want you! God, I want you with every fiber of my being with every force I have inside of me. I want and need you desperately."_

He said, getting closer to her and wrapping his arms around her small and feeble body. He caressed her face lightly to wipe her fallen tears. She just closed her eyes and held him trying hard to calm herself. He spoke softly, words in Gaelic to comfort her. She relaxed in his embrace, breathing heavily the mixture of his scent; it was some sort of chocolate with lemon grass; a fresh scent.

After some 20 minutes of just holding her without trying to kiss her or anything that would lead them to sexual act he spoke calmly:

_"We should go Buff."_

_"I know. They must be worried about us."_

_"Ok then... Pick up your things and we can go."_  He then finished by giving her a small kiss on her forehead.

**_Meanwhile in the Hyperion Hotel_ **

Voices could be heard, of the girls and the boys. Giles and Wesley grew worry about the talk they were having. Faith was the first to speak.

_"I got these dreams, see it was me and B were in a fight and I accidentally killed a guy and put the guilt blame on her. Then later I tried to kill her…"_

_"I got these dreams were I actually was dating Tara."_

_"Me too."_ Tara quietly answer Willow.

_"But that's not all... I lost an eye! And died when they were 20 and 15, and this big, ugly, and weird death came... He could transform himself into anything!"_

_"Even Rabbit's? Cause you know I hate rabbits Xan, please save me from them!"_

_"No problem Luv. There ain't no bunnies around here."_   Said Spike with his arms wrapped around Dawnie's body. Of course most of the guys thought that was just a brother and sister thing... boy if they only knew.

_"So... what?"_  Asked Gunn.

_"We could do a reverse spell... you know maybe a spell that brings lost memories back or even a spell that will show us the past... or something that let's us look inside our souls."_  Said willow babbling so fast that it was hard even for Oz to understand his girlfriend.

_"Sorry Wills... but what?"_

_"She's saying that we could try to figure out who we were in the past. If we still were a big family as we are now."_

_"Thanks Tara."_

_"Welcome."_ She replied shyly.

_"That's a great idea. Who knows, maybe in my past life I was some sort of famous actress."_   Said Cordy signaling with her hands.

_"Wow… por favor…"_ Said Faith mocking her with a Spanish accent and rolling her eyes.

Spike laughed a little meeting Dawn's eyes while resting his face on her neck smelling her fresh scent giving a tender kiss on it.

_"I agree. We should do it."_  Said Lorne that in this live was not demon but a human.

_"But isn't dangerous? Maybe we shouldn't mess with the past."_  Said Dawn.

_"Bullshit… We need to know and we need to know it now! And plus where the hell is your sister and the new watcher by the way?"_

It was Connor's voice. You could hear it in his voice; the fear, anger and of course curiosity.

_"I want to know who I was… because as long as I know I was found in a house and brought here. I have no family except all of you. I want to know if I had one before. I need to know."_

Angel and Buffy were walking on the street of New LA, him holding her hand and looking at her from the corner of his eye to make sure he wasn't daydreaming. They were two blocks away from the Hotel, when she suddenly stopped. He turned to her to see what was wrong, when she smiled at him and said:

_"So you and me? What exactly we are now? Lovers, friends, slayer and watcher?"_

_"All"_

_"All?"_

_"Of course... We were all before... I see no reason why we shouldn't be all now."_

_"So why didn't you tell her? Didn't marry her?"_

He let it go of her hand looking directly in her eyes.

_"I was married to her. I had been married to her since she was 17 years old when I gave her an old Claddagh ring."_

_"OH MY GOD! You never told her. She probably thought it was just a ring."_

_"It was for the best. Believe me."_   He said hiding the sadness in his voice and eyes and started walking, even though Buffy noticed the hurt in his face… she continued.

_"I know. But that didn't change the way she felt about you."_

_"I…"_

_"You don't need to say anything."_

They walked side by side again finally reaching the Hotel. They went in and headed to the library considering they hadn't seen anyone around. When they arrived there they heard the end of Connor's speech:

_"... before. I need to know."_

Angel and Buffy glanced at each other not understanding what they heard. They opened the door to find a very pleasant view, even if the conversation was quite odd or at least weird. Dawn was cuddled with Spike, everyone else had found a unique position to sit at and be comfortable, and the only thing that disturbed the couple was the questioning looks of Giles and Wesley, because they were the first to see them. Buffy and Angel exchanged looks and finally noticed they were still holding hands.

_"Um…"_   Buffy said in a low voice, so only he was the one to hear, Angel gave her a surprised look while he chuckled and let go of her hand, the little contact seemed to do a great deal for both of them cause in less than 5 seconds, Buffy felt herself panicking as she looked at them… and then suddenly, everything went black.

Before anyone could understand what was happening, Angel was holding her limp body.

_"Buffy!"_   Everyone yelled concern in their voice.

Dawn ran to her sister standing behind Angel, while he carried her into her room.


	12. Where do we go from here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Past Buffy tells Angel everything is gonna be okay. She loves him, well they both do.

Angel laid Buffy on her bed gazing at her intensely; Dawn was on his side and started asking questions.

_"What happened? What the hell did you do with her?"_  Her voice began to raise to an almost scream at him.

_"Nothing."_ Angel said calmly  _"I would never do anything to hurt her Dawn."_  He took a deep breath then said in a whisper  _"I love your sister more than my own life."_

_"You do?"_  Dawn said almost crying of wariness.

Outside of the room at the library where Spike had been able to put the gang together, he unsuccessfully was trying to calm down his friends that came with a sudden spill of questions.

_"Spike is she fine?"_

_"What is happening with us?"_

_"Is she gonna be okay?"_

But then suddenly he felt himself being pushed by someone… he had no idea how quick that came. He heard her literally screaming over him.

_"Peroxide Boy, what the hell happened with B? You better fucking answer me now!"_ She said grabbing Spike by his neck while pushing him into the wall.

_"William for the mercy of God, say something boy."_

They could hear Spike mumbling. It was then when Faith noticed, how strongly she was holding him..

_"Oh... Sorry Spike."_

He coughed a little bit and spoke in his British calm way.

_"No problem Slayer. I'll be fine. I'm not sure what happened to our girl. But she'll be fine."_

_"Yeah Man. I mean with dark, tall and handsome over there taking care of her."_  Said Faith cheering.

_"Faith!"_  Everyone said together.

_"AH... come on! Like you wouldn't enjoy a little piece of that ass over there?"_

_"Faith Lehane!"_

_"Fine... Fine... But you gotta admit he's fucking Gorgeous!"_  She said leaving the library and going to Buffy's room to make sure she was fine.

_"FAITH!"_  Everyone said together.

**Inside the room**

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around searching for him, when she heard a very high scream of Faith's name, it brought a smile to her features as in the same moment Angel looked at her… in less than a second he was by her side, holding her hand with an extremely worried expression.

_"Hi."_  She said with a small voice.

_"Hey."_  He answered kissing the palm of her hand.

They were silent for a moment and then he asked…

_"Buffy? What happened baby?"_

_"I don't know. I just felt so tired and sleepy. I saw us again."_

Angel looked at her misunderstanding her.

_"I mean in my dream. I saw us together again."_

_"Wow... That... I really don't know why this is happening..."_

_"It began before you came. It's you Angel. Our souls cry for help, they cry and are eager for each other. I need you and you desperately need me too. I can feel it."_

_"I know."_

At that moment, Faith opened the door.

_"Wow B! Fucking Christ! You almost gave us a freaking heart attack girl! You know I can't live without my bestest friend."_  She babbled reaching for her friend from the other side of the bed.

_"But hey... who needs me... when you have all mister cute and handsome over here? Huh, Big A?"_

Angel slightly blushed, something that Buffy didn't know he could do. Damn! Faith was able to embarrass just about anyone. Even Angel, which knew her for ages. Angel looked quickly to Buffy only to see her smirking and in less than a second, Faith was following her.

_"What?"_

_"It's just..."_ Buffy started saying between laughter.

_"So..."_  Faith continued

_"Funny"_  They both said together.

_"Huh?"_  he asked.

_"You're completely embarrassed by me... Jeez B! You have to give the man some tips!"_

_"Faith."_ Angel began saying.

_"As you can see Buffy is fine, now could you please, leaves us for a moment?"_

_"For a moment huh? Sure thing."_  She said looking at Buffy and lifting her eye brows.  _"See ya later guys!"_

Faith left the room, leaving them alone for an instant.

_"So, you were saying?"_

_"That I need you and you need me. But that's just obvious isn't?"_

_"I told Giles and Wesley how we met. In your previous life of course…"_

_"Right, I guess that might have been interesting."_

_"You were, of course. Always have a babbling say over vampires and other creatures of the night."_

_"So, how long did we date?"_

_"Three years… Well, not exactly... ´cause there's the time I became Angelus and you sent me to hell and then there was the time I decided I shouldn't be close to you, even though the feeling of being away from you was like dying little by little daily."_

_"How did you become Angelus?"_

_"Well... that was before I got my soul. Back when I was Angelus… The Scourge of Europe."_

_"I know who you were Liam, I've read it before. I wanna know why did you become Angelus if you were Liam."_

_"I wasn't Liam at that time, Buffy… I was Angel."_

_"So I fell in love with Angel. It's quite confusing and frustrating you know?"_

_"I understand. I really don't know how this works. How you can remember who you were and what you have done to change so many things in the world Beloved."_

He said sitting down next to her.

_"I remember a time when you were human. Is that a dream or was it real?"_

_"I knew I would have to tell you... when we were walking you talked about a dream, of how I kissed you in the docks"_  He sighed looking outside the bedroom window, _"It was real… And I had to let you go. I guess I should have been more selfish, but I didn't. I couldn't put you in danger, just being a human made it extremely clear for me. I couldn't bear the idea of having you just to then lose you... or you losing me. I know that it would be unbearable to the both of us."_

_"So, you..."_  She started saying biting her bottom lip.  _"So instead of telling her you've kept this memory all to yourself?"_  She asked walking to the window to reach him  _"How could you? How could you look at her and not pray for her to see it?"_

He quickly used his thumb, stopping her. Then he caressed her cheek, cupping her face in his hands for a second, gazing deeply into her eyes, those big hazel green eyes. She murmured a humpf.

_"Buffy"_ His voice was desperate murmuring her name.

_"When she was pregnant she remembered everything… can you imagine how hard it was for her to sleep next to her husband, love him, when all she ever wanted it was you?"_

Angel's eyes began to tear, he knew that both,"his" Buffy as "this" Buffy were melting with each other more and more, soon they would become one, and that hurt him, because he knew that his ionúin, might never forgive him.

_"The oracles just made a switch with her, when they noticed that the memories as she had promised you, were never really forgotten."_

She turned around facing him, he noticed something, there in that moment, it was his girl, his Buffy.

_"Matt should have been born if we were together Angel, have you never asked yourself why he called or cared more for you than for John? Simply because he was ours, Angel, just like Connor. Our sons."_

Angel's tears spilled over his cheeks and soon again his girl was gone, this Buffy came close to him and raised his face.

_"Angel?"_

_"I don't expect you to forgive me, I never did…why? Why have they done this? If I could…"_

_"Shiu…"_  She said sitting on his lap holding him. He hide his face in the crock of her neck and held her close  _"Shiu, please..."_  She let him weep while she heard an eco of her past self.  _Make him understand, I need him to understand._

_"I love you"_  She whispered  _"Angel..."_  She said caressing his hair.

_"You don't need to pity me. I'm sorry."_ He said getting up fast and stopping close to the window.

_"You were about to ask something. What was it?"_

He said calmly.

_"Do you still love her? Are you still in love with that woman?"_  She asked searching for his eyes.

_"Who? Buffy?"_ Confused he asked her:

She laughed.

_"No... my nana."_  She said sarcastically, drying his tears with her thumb without breaking eye contact.

_"What's your nana have to do with anything?"_  He said looking confused to her.

_"Nothing!"_  She yelled exasperated  _"Just answer the question!"_

Before she could yell at him again… He pulled her closer to his body, touching his forehead to hers and silenced her with a kiss.

_"In any incarnation, you will drive me crazy... and no matter how many times you hurt me, I just cannot stop loving you."_  He told her when he pulled back.

_"I know..."_  She whispered back.

He lightly touched his lips to hers again, savoring its sweet taste. She gave way for him to kiss her fondly, Angel ended up tossing them on the bed while still kissing her. Buffy pulled him closer to her body when images flashed in her mind, the first time that it had been her, after a heavy rain, and the second time she supposedly should not remember, he kissed her neck and collarbone, stopping to see the mark she wore, it should had been outrageous, that Buffy had a bite mark like his Buffy had, as if she had been proclaimed as wife of a vampire, as he had once done.

_"Where did you get this?"_  He said tracing the mark with his fingers over gently.

_"What?"_  She said opening her eyes searching for him  _"What are you talking about?"_ He traced the mark again and eyed her, she sighed and said:

_"I was seventeen, when a master vampire, whatever, decided that he wished that I'd be his wife. He grabbed and marked me, I killed him, his name was Lucius."_  That certainly had broken the moment; she was still safe in his arms, but Angel couldn't move, he was so angry.

_"I don't know what to say."_  He mumbled and was about move when she held him preventing him from leaving her. Trapping his face between her hands she said:

_"You can do it. You can mark me. You're still half vampire, Angel, please."_  She pleaded, she wanted it out of her body, and nothing better than having the man she loves doing it for her.

_"You can't possible be serious, Buffy this would be, between vampires, a form of marriage."_

_"What? Are you afraid of the commitment?"_  She asked smirking.

_"Not at all, I'm afraid of how this can affect you."_

_"I'll be fine, as long as you don't drink too much."_  He laid her down and stood up taking his jacket and his shoes off. Buffy was already comfortable enough, he had taken her shoes and jacket before covering her while he waited for her to wake. He then went and locked the door.

_"Perhaps… you might feel a lot of pain; I would prefer to do it when you're more relaxed."_

_"Do you intend to kill me of pleasure?"_  She asked anxious.

_"If you prefer."_  He gave her a lopsided killer smile before sitting on the bed and crawling over her body taking her lips in his, it was a different kind of kiss, it was as if he was recognizing her and vice-verse, his hands touched thoroughly her body and without thinking she was mimicking his actions.

The thin white blouse she was wearing was withdrawn slowly and she moaned softly, controlling the desire she felt to take off all his clothes and love him madly; he felt her small hands work to unbutton his shirt, throwing it anywhere, he kissed her neck, collarbone and down between her breasts, kissing her ribs and belly, she observed him with a smile, her body felt like it was about to combust in flames and she was numb by the feelings he was making resurface with his touches, he unbuttoned her jeans pulling gently leaving her only in lingerie.

_"Angel"_  She whispered.

_"Ionúin, is there something wrong? Am I going…?"_

_"No... It's... my mind... whenever I close my eyes; there are so many memories..."_

_"We can stop."_ He said. She eyed him arching an eyebrow in a very sexy way, Angel half naked, only his jeans covering his intense desire for her.

_"I want you, all of you."_  He kissed her again, this time she was taken by memories from the beginning when she arrived in Sunnydale, the first day of class, Giles, Xander, Willow, Angel, Cordelia, Oz, her parents, friends who she had lost and won, Spike and Drusilla, Darla, Angel, Angelus, her failed attempts to have a normal life, her sister, Riley, Adam, Glory, death, life, love a crazy vampire, all those girls, her marriage, her first child, and how much she loved him knowing he was actually the result of an impossible love, but intense. Her daughter, so beautiful, her granddaughters, her whole family... and a constant in her Angel.

Meanwhile Angel tortured her body with mouth open kisses, he was between her thighs when Buffy appeared to stop breathing, it scared him, the thought that he had hurt her, he lifted his face up from her exposed body to him and was surprised to see a different look from the ones he had received until now, it was like recognition.

She smiled, stroking his face and whispered:

_"I promised we would find each other again."_

_"Buffy."_   He whispered her name.

_"Hello, my love."_ She said.

Angel looked at her uncertain of what he had just heard  _"I'm here, we are together, quite together actually, huh?"_  And a big smile covered her face.

_"Oh Buffy, my beloved, Buffy."_

_"I missed you."_   She murmured; he was laying on top of her, his face caught between her breasts listening to the rhythm of her heart.

_"Are you going to pretend to torture me a little bit more?"_  She asked caressing his hair, she felt a tear fall over her body; his body trembled as she hugged him to her.

_"Hey, it's all right, shh… if you think I feel betrayed, you must be insane. We are the same Angel, same soul, with different lives, but the same nonetheless."_

_"Centuries couldn't change our love."_  Angel found in her eyes, so much love, comprehension, longing.

_"I love you, mo grá."_

_"Just like I do. Come on you can sleep, or we can escape."_   She spoke with laughter.

_"Better not. They will have questions, and many I believe."_   He took her lips again and kissed her neck, he could smell the aroma of her arousal it was so intoxicating to be a hybrid, all these senses. He wanted to simply submerge in all of her beauty, be hers completely. He was sniffing her neck, kissing and biting slightly as any human, until she held his face close to the mark she possessed and in a hoarse voice she whispered:

_"Bite me."_


	13. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All things comes full circle. Hope you enjoy it!

_"Bite me"_  He heard her. Okay, it was easy to say so it was bloody easy to do too. He kissed her neck, breathing in her skin, licking the exposed flesh, while he heard her moaning his name softly, he let the monster inside him come forth, and now wearing his vamp face… he graced her skin with his canines before biting.

A soft cry escaped from her mouth when he finally bit her, the moment the dominant taste of her blood touched his tongue, he felt the images pass through them as well, every single thing they had done and felt during their time together…

First, as Buffy Summers, a Californian girl born in 1981, Los Angeles; not only her time as the slayer was shown to both of them, but her time as a baby, a young child and a teenage girl before being called.

Buffy was experiencing all his memories as well, as Liam, as Angelus then Angel, and she soon discovered that Angelus had always loved her as well.

_"Angel"_  She moaned his name, he had already stopped drinking from her and he was simply laving at the new scar of the punctures left.

_"Yes beloved?"_  He breathed in her neck.

_"Make love to me?"_  She asked in a husky voice.  _"Forever and ever…"_  he murmured kissing her earlobe.

He heard her moan again taking of his shirt, touching every inch of him that she could, more and more memories came, the first time they made love, when he left, her feelings, his feelings, when she tried to forget him by sleeping with some random guy, the fucking commando guy he hated so much for having her, Spike, her mother's death, her death, the love she felt for her friends and sister.

He was ravished kissing every inch he could rather. She whimpered his name, playing with his hair. He kissed her lips long and strong, earning a moan from his lover. He couldn't believe how easy it was to fall back to old habits, he knew every piece of her, so as he had done twice before (at least for him) he trailed down her body beaming while eyeing her, she grinned satisfied by his ministrations. He kissed her lower lip and sucked her ear, in response Buffy moaned in pure pleasure. Another set of images impregnated their minds.

He had concentrated on kissing her inner thighs when he then ran his tongue along her the opening of her hot spot, delighting her with his experience until all he could hear, feel, and taste was her sweet release.

Angel grinned seductively as he licked her tummy nipping lightly with blunt teeth, up the valley of her feminine mounds pausing to caress them until he kissed her fully on the mouth as the proof of his arousal nudged at her entrance. Buffy let out a breathy whimper into his lips arching up to him for what she wanted… The action made the hybrid man growl in yearn as their eyes locked, just before he entered her.

Their lovemaking was something that would go on through the night as they both attempted to make up for lost time.

**_Meanwhile_ **

The formal Scooby gang was having their own dreams and questions. Connor finally understood where he had come from. Tara,Willowand Oz ended sharing a threesome sexual dream. Spike and Dawn fully understood where all the love and companionship started; Giles was surprise and amazed by his slayer and slayerettes, he never thought they were so strong as friends, but now he was sure they were much more than that – they were family – just like in this lifetime; previously they were vicious, heroic and completely out of their minds (if you could count insanity as such a thing) but nonetheless they were family.

Buffy would have preferred that all the bad things that happened two hundred years ago in her life as a Summers would vanish, that all her friends didn't ache as they did, that love wouldn't be so painful. But above all that, she wished she was that girl, leaving Angel's office heartbroken, seeing in her lovers eyes how much he wishes he could wrap his arms around her and never let her go.

Angel kissed her face lovingly then bringing her back from those deep thoughts and held her close. His heart beating under her made her remember a forgotten memory then…  _"I'll never forget"._

**_Present Day_ **

Buffy woke up in her dorm room, Willow was slightly snoring, and the slayer felt lost for a moment before realizing it was probably one of her many slayers dreams.

After a moment she got up to shower, dress and think of a phrase that wouldn't leave her alone; what wasn't she supposed to forget?

Angel woke up in his bed, alone, lost at his surroundings. Before he could say "what the fuck?" he heard arguing.

"Honestly Doyle, how can you expect someone to take you seriously in those clothes?" Cordelia asked.

Angel laughed happy for himself, getting up, dressing and walking out to meet his friends. He had a second chance to change  _everything_. To make it right.

_"Doyle!"_  He called.

_"Yo mate, good mornin' to ya. Have you seen a blue bird or something?"_  He questioned.

_"He's right boss, you're awfully happy today... but not TOO happy right?"_  Cordy voiced worriedly.

_"Relax Cordy, it's just me. But I do have to talk to you guys."_  He said cautiously.

_"Hurricane Buffy all along, I can assure it."_  He grimaced and proceeded to tell them every little thing.

_"WOW"_  The two formal fang gang crew spoke.

_"I know."_  He sighed.

_"Well, then let's get to work, what the heck are you both Irish guys waiting for? We need to find these Branch demons or whatever you call them and save Doyle"_  she said, the little Irishman was more than just surprised.

_"What? Just because I tend to drive you crazy doesn't mean I don't care for you, I would miss you, you know... damn it, I even miss Buffy and the Scoobies''_  she admitted, with a smile.

In Sunnydale, Buffy decided she needed to visit her mom and make sure she had herself checked up. While walking, she thought about Dawn - her sister in her dream – and how so many things could be avoided.

A visit was in order due to her most teaser and favorite vampire – though Spike would never know – she would tell him about her dream and how much she believed he was a good 'man'.

After Spike, she needed to speak with her watcher; he would definitely have an explanation for it. Buffy had unconsciously scratched Riley's name from her mental dating list. Fuck  _him_ ; a soldier working for a crazy teacher? Thanks, but no, Thanks. She had enough problems already.

Again, a research party didn't sound like a bad idea after all.

Oh. Oz, she needed to talk to him too or Will would never be the same. Also, for some crazy reason she thought aboutTara, as she recalled the dream could balance those two. OKAY. Did she just think of a threesome relationship?

Heck. Weirder things had happened before, right?

Dawn entered her mind all over again and she knew she would do anything to protect her daughter – wait a second there – DAUGHTER?

_"I'll never forget." SHIT. DOUBLE SHIT!_

That part, under no circumstances had been a dream. For some time now or days Angel had been an indeed a human. A breathing, heart beating, basking in the sun,  _human_. They had been able to enjoy being in love with no boundaries, what so ever.

She began to breathe heavily. He gave up on her; the question that remained though was, why?

Perhaps, that didn't matter; Dawn was hers and Angel's. So how come she was a teen in her dreams?

Another set of questions rolled in her mind. Buffy decided she was gonna go do her shores before going nuts. She visited Joyce, and after a lot of arguing, her mother agreed to go get a checkup.

Then Spike, both were surprised by the civilized and normal conversation they had. Spike, though shocked, agreed with the slayer and thanked her. They said their goodbyes and hugged like good old friends.

Even the dream hadn't given her all the answers. So, she needed to speak with the fang gang as well. And God have mercy, she sure was going to be in trouble after throwing everything on Giles. Poor librarian, he wouldn't know what had hit him.

Oh, Faith, she needed her sister slayer right away, she considered.

Giles opened the door in a sleepy state. It was late; she knew that of course, but first things first. And there was in no doubt at all that this was an emergency situation.

_"Buffy, what in god's name are you doing here in such an unholy hour?"_ The ex-librarian requested, cleaning his glasses.

_"It's an emergency."_  And with a wave of his hand Giles gestured her get inside. She sat down and started her ramble, just like she had done with Spike.

_"I need a drink."_ Was all that Giles managed to say,  _"Meanwhile, Buffy please call the number next to the phone."_  She agreed, knowing she had given a migraine to her watcher.

_"Angel Investigations, those in need we help..."_  Spoke Doyle in his Irish voice.

_"It's 'we help the ones in need', not the contrary!"_  Cordelia corrected him.

_"Hi Doyle, this is Buffy."_  She greeted.

_"Give me that."_ Impatiently Cordelia abruptly took the telephone.

_"This is Cordelia Chase, how may I help you?"_ She asked, but even trying to sound cherry, Buffy noticed she was exhausted.

_"Cordy, its Buffy, I'm sorry for calling you at such an unholy hour, but it's important."_ Giles repressed a grin at his slayer.

_"You're on speaker"_  Cordy replied.

_"This is gonna sound hell crazy, but..."_  Buffy started.

_"Let me guess, you had a dream with you future self?"_  Cordy asked.

_"Yeah, I'll put you on speaker too."_  They soon discussed during an hour or so, Angel and Buffy fulfilling their stories, when Cordelia wisely said:

_"This is fun and all, but I'm dead tired, shouldn't we get some sleep and gather everyone?"_

She was absolutely right. New members would come and Buffy had only confessed most of her dreams, to them and Spike. Angel and the crew agreed it was the best option. They shall meet, Buffy thought again about the life growing inside her, hers and Angel's baby.

A week later they were all at the mansion, the biggest place and to everyone's utter surprise, the meeting went smoothly, they had agreed on the plan that Angel and Buffy should work together; they were surprised by Buffy's revelations about Dawn and relieved at the same time. Spike heard all of it, before speaking his mind; he had discovered how to find his soul and also a way of binding his sires. He whispered something about Little Bit needing a father and an awesome uncle; yes he could be extremely full of himself sometimes.

It was with this new shared information and their new alliance that they were to take on the future, the threats, and anything thrown their way how it should have been from the very beginning…

Together.

**_Two years later_ **

LA had been crazy lately, but Angel, Cordy, and Doyle (yes, they had manage to save him), Wesley (not a solo demon hunter alone any longer), Gunn (a black teenager who after losing his sister's to a vampire, started working for one, against them), David Nabbit (wealthy and pretty much a Willow kind of person, computer worm), Fred (thanks to Cordy travelling to another dimension, they manage to save the physicist), and of course, Lorne (an emphatic demon and singer).

Who would have thought?

Buffy had been indeed pregnant, and it was a girl. They named her Dawn and a week later a crazy demon from another dimension took her. When she was delivered again to Buffy and her family – it reads – mom (Buffy), Spike, Faith (Buffy had visited her often since the dream and when she was finally awake all she wanted was make amends and be the sister Buffy so desperately needed), Willow, Oz, Tara, Giles, Joyce, Xander, Anya and of course daddy's (Angel) crew. Dawn was 14 years old and it wasn't easy at all, the monks who got her made her a key and gave her memories of Buffy as her sister, which pained the slayer and vampire deeply.

When Glory came they were prepared, at least that's what they had thought, until Angel sacrificed himself for the sake of his daughter. It was too much for Buffy, too much to everyone, they had been together for too long and what hurt the most was that a body was non existence.

Dawn blamed herself and Buffy tried perhaps in vain to a placate her sisters - to what Dawn all knew – poor heart, and take her out of this misery, but with very little luck.

For months the Fang gang and the Scoobies were lost, everything was out of place, nothing could mend them or end their pain.

It was all in vain, why even give them a chance to be happy?

Joyce decided it was time for Buffy to tell the truth for her daughter, to let Dawn know about her true origins, she had gathered the whole gang at her house and discussed it with them, it was time they agreed.

Meanwhile Buffy had taken Dawn out of the house, since Angel and Buffy had gotten together they lived in the mansion and everything made them both think about Angel.

They were walking in one of the "many" cemeteries in Sunnydale. Dawn kicked a small rock on the grass floor as if she could prove something out of it, holding her tears she asked:

_"Why the heck didn't he let me do it?"_

Buffy put her arm around her bringing her close, she sniffed, a tear falling. Buffy then whispered in a soothing tone:

_"Because you're ours."_  Dawn looked dumbfounded.

_"That's not true."_

Buffy sighed and continued  _"You're mine and Angels; you were barely a month when a demon took you away from us to another dimension. When we got you back weeks later, you were fourteen hating me and calling your grandma 'mom', we discovered later about the monks and they told you were indeed my child but they had change you and made you a key."_  Dawn eyed her thinking about all the moments her 'sister' would hold her or caress her hair; kiss her cheek or her forehead lovingly. How many times Angel had helped her with homework, as Spike, called her sweetheart, made her breakfast and she couldn't help but started crying incontrollable sinking on the floor.´

_"You are really my parents?"_  Her voice was barely a whisper  _"Oh gosh, dad is dead because of me."_  She started hyperventilating.

_"Hush, Dawnie, hush."_  She sobbed clutching at her mother for dear life. She murmured things such as  _'Sorry mommy'_ and _'I didn't mean it'_  in response Buffy would hold her tighter and closer, bringing the girl on her lap. Buffy told her that no matter what she always wanted her and loved her and so had her father, and without a doubt he would have done the same.

8/8/8

Angel woke up surprised under the bridge he looked around feeling a bit lost. He had the same clothes he was wearing when he had "died", he felt the need get home right away, something rushed him to the old Summers' house, and without noticing it was almost morning or that he was breathing while his heart was beating; his main goal was to find his wife and daughter.

He walked the streets of Sunnydale and entered the so familiar Revello Drive and stopped in front of the white house number 60, knocking on the door, silly, but, like Buffy would say of him  _'always the gentlemen'._

The Fang Gang and the Scoobies eyed each other. _Who could possibly be?_ Buffy had the key and Dawn was with her. Spike rose from his seat and in a dash he was at the door.

_"Spike, what took you so long boy?"_  His sire asked in a mocking tone.

_"SIRE?"_ The bleach blonde voice was perplexed.

_"What the hell William, you look like you've seen a ghost."_ He said entering the house.

The whole family was speechless; no one had a thought to give. They heard another noise and Faith called:

_"B?"_

Buffy answered in a low voice  _"Yeah, could you please help me with Dawn, she fell asleep."_

Angel was about to move but all eyes were on him again, he backed away, letting Faith take the lead.

_"Thanks."_  He heard his lover say  _"Is everything alright, Fai? You seem… troubled."_

_"Did you tell her?"_ The younger slayer asked.

_"Yeah, she's pretty upset."_  She spoke caressing her daughters face.

_"Mom?"_  Dawn called in her slumber.  _"I'm here."_

_"Thanks."_  Murmured Faith, Dawn had become her little sis and no one was gonna hurt her anymore.

_"B?"_ She started  _"Did you do anything?"_  Faith had an unreadable expression on her face.

_"Hum?"_ Buffy sounded clueless while Faith kept walking climbing the stairs.  _"Nothing, really, is just big A just came in through the door, like nobody's business, yo' know, like he never left – I mean died. So I thought that maybe you or Sabrina had done something."_  She rambled.

_"WHAT?"_  Buffy practically yelled at her, Dawn was startled and Faith almost lost her balance before saying  _"Calm down, B."_

Buffy was surprised and quieted down but in vain because all hell broke loose. Everyone was on top of each other it was completely chaos.

_"Enough."_  Angel said reassured.  _"What exactly happened?"_  His eyebrows rose up in a questioning way."

_"Dad?"_  Dawn asked uncertainly.

_"Yes?"_ Angel responded looking deeply hurt to the teen, his eyes searched Buffy.

_"Are you for real?"_  She asked still secured in Faith's arms. Angel was dumbfounded. What did she mean by that? And when did Buffy tell her the truth?

_"I thought we had agreed to tell her the truth together."_  Faith had put Dawn on her feet, but was still by her side.

_"Baby..."_ Buffy said in a velvet voice getting closer to him and touching his face  _"You were dead for months."_

The information sunk in and he was eating flies, then he felt breathless while touching his wife's hand to make sure she was there, he closed his lingering at the contact.

_"Well that certainly explains the chocked faces and the bridge... "_  He said, no humor in his voice while he watched everyone else.

Dawn moved descending the stairs hugging him with all her might, then Buffy followed and Faith, when the three girls were comfortable in his embrace, Spike joined them.

_"Excluse me"_  Cordy complained,  _"I want a piece of my friend too."_

And for some moments they kept with the hugging, kissing, chatting – Home. They were finally home.

Buffy watched them in display with a smile on her face. He was back, he had fulfilled his prophecy and they could live as the normal slayer, an ex-vampire and a key daughter that belong to them both. Let's not forget their family, Angel was bombarded with gossip, such as Doyle and Cordy getting married, Willow, Oz and Tara were indeed together; Faith was happily engaged in a relationship with Spike (who was also human), and he soon noticed how protective he was of Dawn and Buffy.

Giles and Wesley had resumed the Councils Office and made a lot of changes, one being that  _"In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer"_  was changed to  _"In every generation there is a chosen one. She along_ _with her friends and family shall face the forces of the darkness"._

Anya and Xander were always fighting a bit which was hilarious. Angel had been listening and talking with Lorne when he felt his lover hugging him, he held her arms around his torso, inebriated by her perfume.

_"Gosh, I've missed you."_ She said heartedly.

_"And I_ _you,_ _baby."_  He turned to kiss her fully on her lips.

_"Forever, as long forever will be?"_  He asked.

_"That's the whole point."_  She smirked.

_"Get a room!"_  Faith said jokingly.

_"Actually I do have something to ask."_  Angel replied with a grin on his face.

_"I was wondering… now that I'm a real boy..."_  The whole gang laughed including Buffy, Spike measured to say…

_"Oh bullocks, sire, that was too much!"_  while his partner in crime said…

_"Come on big A..."_  Drying the tears from the corner of her eyes.

_"Guys, please, I'm trying to make a real request here, so will you please shut_ _it_ _?"_  They held their laughter's and Anya, never the tactful said:

_"Pump the question already so you can leave and make..."_  Before she continued Xander put a hand on her mouth.

_"I'm sorry, go own mate."_ He said shrugging Angel with his free hand.

_"Hum, actually_ _it's_ _more like a_ _announcement_ _than a_ _request_ _; see in Irish old laws, the we_ _d_ _ding band I gave Buffy when she was 17 technically married us. Of course the laws in USA are different, so I kindly ask my daughter and her lovely grandmother if I could have the honor..."_

_"_ _Oh my God_ _, Angel."_  Joyce stooped him.  _"You have proved_ _to_ _me more than once, how much you love my daughter, and I don't think Dawnie disagrees."_

Dawn smiled, and so did all the others faces in the room.

Angel eyed his mate, best friend and lover beaming at her as she threw herself in his arms and kissed him slowly.

They had a whole new life ahead of them and many more surprises to live.

 


End file.
